1) On Sunday Jeff and I went to see 50/50. It was much better than I expected and I expected it to be alright. I didn't, however, expect to be full-on snotty crying as the primary character was wheeled in for surgery. I know why it hit me so hard- I am a delayed mourner and I had been a "strong" supporter for Kristin during her kidney transplant. It was a bit like holding your breath for a LOOOOOONG time and then having someone kick you in the belly resulting in rapid exhalation...
My step dad is also about to undergo iodine radiation treatment for his thyroid cancer- a diagnosis he was given whilst applying to donate a kidney for the aforementioned sister. I was only vaguely aware of how heavy that all was until I was no longer holding it up. Yeah movies!
2) I have restarted- with gusto- the slow carb diet as translated in The Four Hour Body. I am playing with my combinations of protein, veggies, and beans and coming up with yummy meals. I am finding that the meat portion of the meal is almost an after thought. I am sauteeing mustard greens with onion, garlic, smoky salt, chili flake, coconut oil, and fire roasted tomatoes. I have also roasted fennel, Brussel sprouts, onions, and carrots (tossed in olive oil and sea salt) finished with a drizzle of orange scented oil. I baked a bunch of chicken breasts and I have been adding those to each meal but I am not overly enthused with them. I may just supplement with more protein powder shakes. I have a shake and a hard boiled egg for breakfast. Breakfast is the most difficult as I have never been in the habit of eating it- at least not at actual breakfast time. In conjunction with this, I am working on my sleep- with varying results, and walking more. I feel much better but its only been since Sunday and I just weighed myself today so I have no evidence as yet of any weight loss.
3) I spoke with my Aunt Coleen today. She is dying to have me come to Tennessee to visit. I would absolutely LOVE to go too. She would pay for my gas or plane ticket too- which is amazing. I just have to figure out when I can go. I admit I feel much guilty thinking of taking off without Jeff during the holiday season. That is probably me filtering through my own lens, especially considering that Jeff says he would be fine with it, but I would be bummed if he didn't want to be around me during the holidays. Somehow I suspect that he is saying that to be kind. BUT- what choice does one have but to believe the things that people say? I can't just assume ulterior feelings because he swears he will let me know if something isn't okay. Perhaps I am just to wigged to test his word. I hate letting people down- but I am only doing myself a disservice assuming that I would be letting him down if he has already said its fine. So- you can see how this particular thought is a ball that spins at the rate of nutrinos in the super collider in circles.
4) Happy birthday to my Dad on Friday. Love you.
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